First Steps
by badluck777
Summary: It's hard to go anywhere when two people are afraid to take the first step. The progress might be harder to face than the answer. ReiMinako. Live action PGSM.
1. Surprises

Chapter 1 –Surprises –

I'm never the person to give more than what I'm asked. It was actually quite simple to live that way. Love, friendship, I never expected any of it. Thinking like that had made me impervious to pain, and it helped me to build up a cool exterior that I'm best known for. Even with Usagi and the others, though a little more difficult, I have ways to make it work. In that way I'm always surprised at the abundant of letters I get and never disappointed by the lack thereof. It's nice, isn't it?

Usagi always complains that I never take any initiative, and she's probably right. To take the first step and face the dangers of being shot down…I'd rather wait to be the response. Initiative or responsive, to me the second one makes a pretty good argument. Of course Usagi begs to differ. She said that it's only because I didn't trust my feelings or those of others that I'm such a coward. I wouldn't mind if she took off the last word; I'm not a coward, I just choose to take an easy way out.

But as for the rest she's right. I don't find trusting people particularly easy. Things just get done faster when I'm by myself.

_Aren't you lacking something as the leader?_

Ah, _that_ sentence. Not even I know why it clings to me so much. Lacking something…now I just can't shake that feeling off. She was the first person who had me question my way of thinking, and I hate it when she's right. She almost destroyed the self-confidence that I was surviving on, and I felt dead threatened from start to finish. I suppose it's just her stuck-up, all-knowing aurora. She has the natural talent to make everything in history look small next to her.

History.

I looked back down to the book I was currently holding, and let out a helpless sigh. You would think when reading history your mind tends to wonder, but how the hell could _The Rikkokushi_ possiblylead me to someone half way around the world? It must be too early in the morning for this kind of reading. It's just eight, for god's sake.

Putting down the book, I soon found the quietness of the Crown pressing on me, something Motoki relentlessly complained about whenever he had an early morning shift. It's not the emptiness that gets to me, it's more of the memories of how lively this room used to be. To think that we've been in and out of this place over the years, and yet nothing's changed except perhaps a few more pictures here and there. The five chairs around the round table make me nostalgic every time.

So much has happened here, but I don't think I remember one time when all five chairs have been fully occupied together. The closest we've gotten…probably four and a letter from the fifth and just what was I thinking? God, I must be tired as hell right now. And it's all Usagi's fault for dragging me out here when I just got back last night.

Usagi called me out of the blue a couple of days ago and insisted that there was a surprise that I had to come back for. And I was ready for a break too. It's getting harder and harder for me to concentrate on _anything_ in Kyoto. Might just be missing social interactions for all it's worth. Whoever said that loneliness gets to even the most reserved person, they're damn right.

But this surprise got me pretty curious, I must admit. After all, our days of fighting are long gone, and now we're just normal…people. Our lives are so predicable compared to what it used to be that I might _actually _miss it. Usagi's married, Makoto's going to get married, Ami-chan's working her brains out as usual, and…well, it's all predicable. When was the last time we got a surprise, in a good way? Mio attacking Earth? Hardly. Somebody deciding on her whims that she was going to work full-time in London? That other time when she left us too? I don't…

_Why_ am I thinking about _that_ again! I felt tempted to pick up the history book again.

It's annoying, really. She completely cut us off! Two years since she came back to Japan, because she was forced by her duties as senshi, I might add. No letters, no phone calls, nothing. I don't miss her, no, I'm just frustrated that she doesn't even attempt to keep our connection, the connection that took so many fights to get…Okay! I do miss her. How dare she just throw me out of her life after all that? Does she…

Stop. Calm down.

I'm going back to reading.

Time passed by quickly this time. I'm relieved, because I think I'll drive myself crazy if I don't get any distractions soon. Right when the clock ticked nine, Ami walked in. She was punctual to the point that if she was to walk in a second late, you'd feel more tempted to adjust your watch.

We shared a brief hug, then settled into a comfortable chit-chat to catch up with each other. A few minutes later Makoto arrived too, and the three of us fell into the usual waiting-for-Usagi conversation, which meant we couldn't say anything too important for the fear that the latecomer will never get off of your case for not waiting for her. Seriously, you'll even forget who should be sorry in the first place.

"Say, Rei-chan, you don't look too well. Is something wrong?" As expected of the doctor, nothing ever escapes her eyes.

"Nothing to worry about," I waved it off. "It's just that Usagi usually gives me one day's grace period before she drags me out. I'm still a little tired from last night's flight. And I can't sleep in well, so it can't be helped."

"Isn't it about time you came back to Tokyo? How long do you plan to stay locked up in those Kyoto mountains?" Makoto asked in her usual straight-forward way.

I stole a glimpse at Ami-chan, and found her completely focused on what I was going to say next. I suppose they had wanted to ask that for a long time now. "I'm not there for the training," I answered. I'm _not_ hiding, unlike some people. "Actually, I'm looking for a sponsor through a priest I know in Kyoto. But most Shinto shrines are run by priests, so it can get hard convincing others to support a woman. It's going to take a while, but I'm making progress."

"I see. The glass ceiling, huh?" Makoto said. "What about you, Ami-chan? Do you get that kind of crap too?"

"Sometimes," Ami-chan admitted shyly. "But my mother has made a name for herself already, so a lot of things are easier for me. It's nothing compared to what Mako-chan has to put up with."

I looked over to Makoto. "Don't tell me, you too?"

"You wouldn't believe it!" she said angrily. "All these people saying things behind my back. Women should just stay home and feed the kids. That's what Motoki gets told all the time."

I smiled. "You're really lucky to have him, you know?" I commented off-handedly. "If it were any other man, they'll never support your business and your college tuition."

"I know that!" her cheeks flushed.

It's always entertaining to watch her turn from a stubborn tomboy to an ordinary, shy, little girl.

"Anyways," Makoto cleared her throat, a sign that read _Stop embarrassing me I'm going to change the topic_. "Are you going back to school? You know, you're the only one of us who hasn't attended college yet."

"The only one?" My voice perked up a bit. "Then Minako…"

"She's studying management at Canterbury College," Ami-chan answered.

I blinked. "Don't tell me you follow her news too, Ami-chan."

"No, I just…"

Makoto poked me lightly to get my attention. "Actually, Ami-chan's one of those fans that translate her English news articles into Japanese."

With a face redder than tomato, Ami-chan denied forcefully, "No! That's not…"

"Don't lie," Makoto winked. "It was on the profile. 20, single, likes reading and computers, a working-doctor. And you even put down you favorite planet."

"Well, I…in my spare time, to practice my English…" her voice got smaller and smaller.

If Makoto's shyness was amusing, Ami-chan's show is a must-see. I couldn't leave Tokyo with either of them missing.

Embarrassed moments passed, I let the two die-hard fans to fill me in on the idol's latest news. But I couldn't shake off the feeling that I had lost to Minako again. Why did she always have to be ahead of me? It was troublesome at times, really.

In the end, Usagi showed up fifteen minutes late, which I have to say was one of her better days. Whatever she's got for us, she was very excited. But the day wouldn't be complete if I didn't scold her at least once.

"Why bother dragging us out here when you don't even show up on time?" I complained. "So, what's this surprise that you had to tell us?"

"Well, you see," her voice trailed happily, almost dreamily. "Actually, I got a letter from Minako-chan!"

"Eh, really?" Makoto immediately jumped up. "When?"

"A couple of days ago, actually." She looked at me with a big smile. "But since I knew Rei-chan would kill me if I read it first, I waited until all of us were together."

I looked away. "You didn't have to wait for me." Four and a letter from the fifth. Was this simple irony?

Usagi's smile never left her face. "Rei-chan's being insincere again. You were dying to hear from her."

"I was not!" I defended for the sake of my pride.

"Whatever. Now, the letter!"

She opened the envelope so fast that it was hardly convincing to say that she never read the letter before. The rest of us were each showing our anxiety in our own way, but Usagi chose to take a dramatic pause, driving us to the edge of our curiosity. I knew it! She was playing with us.

"You've read that letter, didn't you?" I said, giving her death-stares.

"Eh, what are you talking about, Rei-chan?" she said innocently. But she did take the hint to start reading.

"_Everyone, how was your summer? Sorry that I haven't been in touch for a while. Work is really catching up with me, and now that I'm in college, I really miss my high school days. And I really miss Japan too, and especially you guys. I want to see you again! It feels like forever since Usagi-chan's wedding. Has it been two years?_

"_Last time, Usagi-chan mentioned a senshi get-together this Christmas. I'm sorry to say that I can't make it. I'm scheduled for a ten-day live tour in England. But I hope you'll have fun nonetheless._

"_On another note, next spring we've been thinking about a short stay in Tokyo, about a month or so. I haven't returned in two years and I feel sorry for my fans. I'll be doing some concerts and record a new song. When the time comes, I'll contact you with more information. Would you like some tickets? Again, I apologize that I can't make it this Christmas. _

"_Give my regards to Mamoru-kun and Motoki-kun._

"_Best, Minako."_

"Ahh, looks like she can't make it again," Makoto sank down in her chair.

"But she did say next spring!" Usagi said excitedly. "I can't wait! Rei-chan, definitely come back then okay? I want the five of us together again in a normal situation, not saving the Earth or anything."

I nodded, my mind elsewhere. There was something bothering me about the letter. Bothering me very much, actually.

"This may seem like a silly question," I began, my eyes darting from place to place. "Did you write to her, Usagi?"

"Yep. I wrote on behave of all of us. She sent us these New Year postcards and I just replied."

I frowned hard. "Postcards?"

"Didn't you get one, Rei-chan?" Ami-chan asked. "We all got it."

My lips suddenly went dry. She had contacted them? All of them. How could…

"Rei-chan," Usagi said gently. "I'm sure yours probably had a hard time reaching you. Didn't you say that the shrine cuts off outside communication pretty well? Remember how many times we tried before we could get a letter through to you?"

"Y-yeah, you're right. My place is pretty secluded after all," I laughed, which sounded forced to my ears. "So did she only send cards?"

"There were phone calls now and then," Ami-chan answered carefully, "But since you were always away and Minako-chan doesn't keep the same number for more than a few weeks…"

"I see," I said. I tried to smile it off, but it didn't quite turn out right. The others kindly moved on to other things, but not before reassuring me that my cards just got lost along the way. I told them that I know, that I'm not worried about it.

But that's not the point at all. If she sent me anything, it should be addressed to the Hikawa Shrine if anywhere else. And I was dead sure that I received no such thing when I check my mailbox last night.

Even that letter, she addressed it to Usagi. I suppose I understand that she and Usagi had always had a close relationship since the start, well if you really think about it, Usagi is close with everyone. She brought us out of our shells, more or less, and was the first to approach her when she was feeling lonely. But that's not what I mean either! They can be close all they want, for all that I care. Gah, what exactly am I thinking?

It must the suddenness of it all. That's it. Before I had assumed that she simply went to London and avoided contact with all of us. At the beginning I had a feeling that she was running away from something. But when she came back two years ago for that Kuroki Mio mess, she said it was because she was very busy, and I believed her. I mean, she's got to be one of the most prolific idols out there, just look at how many singles and TV appearances she has. So when she went silent again I thought she was still busy. But now…

I checked the mailbox again when I got back at night, finding absolutely nothing. I must be an idiot. Somewhere I could hear the gods laughing at me already.

In the end I decided to go to bed early. What's the point of reading when nothing registers? I've been skimming the pages all day and tomorrow I have to start again from where I left off the day before. It's not me at all, and I hate to think of a reason why I'm like this.

Come to think of it, Minako's always been coming and going as she pleases. She never gave a proper explanation for anything, and if you had to ask, it would be _My orders as the princess_ before and _I'm busy with work _now. She'd never care what others think, it's just her and the world. It's a little irresponsible, if I had to put a word to it.

I tossed and turned from side to side for however many times while I stayed awake. I guess I'm angry, after all. With everything that happened, I was just someone she could throw away so easily? It's just downright not fair for me. I sat up suddenly, feeling the undeniable urge to break something. A thousand words swarmed in my head, most of them inappropriate to say aloud. If I ever get to see her face to face, she'd get what's coming.

The faint ringing of the telephone echoed through the corridor. I checked my clock, quarter past eleven. Some business snob must have got their hands on the fact that I was back in Tokyo. Seriously, how many times do I need to say that I don't deal with that kind of business? It's an insult to my powers.

I lay back down and waited. Five rings, six, seven…doesn't this guy know when to give up? Ten, eleven, and it was still ringing.

Fine! I pushed myself up and stomped towards the phone. If I couldn't break something then I might as well take it out on someone. By the end of it he'll be sorry he ever dared to bother me in the middle of the night.

"Who's this!" Forget formality and politeness, I'm rather sick of them anyways.

"_Ah_." The caller hesitated, as if they had never expected anyone to pick up. "_Sorry, wrong number._"

I blinked. That voice sounded familiar. Could it be…

"Minako?" I said shakily.

There was dead silence on the line, so the person must have hanged up. But I held the receiver to my ears for a couple more seconds. Maybe it had been a wrong number, but that voice was too similar.

Maybe it's just my imagination?

There was some rustling and the line came back to life. "_R-Rei?_"

My heart leaped. Conflicting emotions crashed, and I mentally debated whether I should yell at her. But in the end I couldn't find what to say. "Yeah," I answered dumbly.

Silence again. This time I was scared that she hanged up for real. "Minako?" I said her name urgently, my previous anger forgotten.

"_Ah…un. S-sorry, I wasn't expecting that you would be there and…_" she trailed, probably realizing how ridiculous that had sounded.

"Oh." I was numb all over. My mind spun in all possible directions, but nothing coherent came out. I felt my heart beat faster with each passing second. Say something! "Um…where are you?" Stupid! "You're in London, right? I mean where else could you be?"

The last part came out a bit harsher than intended. What was wrong with me today?

"_I have a live in a couple of hours and…" _Again she hesitated. "_Actually…did you just get back from Kyoto?"_

Somehow I had the feeling that that wasn't what she was intending to say.

"I got back yesterday. Usagi insisted that there was a surprise that I must see."

"_I…see."_

"Aren't you going to ask what it is?"

"_Well, knowing Usagi-chan, it's probably my letter right?"_

So she guessed right. She and Usagi knew each other that well? And the way she said Usagi-chan…I felt something change inside of me, and it didn't feel good. Somehow without my knowing she and Usagi had gotten far closer than they were a few years back. The idea didn't roll with me well.

"Why not come back for Christmas?" I suddenly found myself asking out of the blue. "You can't possibly be so busy that you can't spare a break from time to time. Work is a poor excuse, you know."

I could sense her turning defensive. _"That argument would be more convincing if you weren't spending all your time with flames in God-knows-where."_

"Says the person who told me about trust and then runs off to hide on the other side of Earth." My voice picked up. "I feel strangely unfit to be labeled a hypocrite."

"_That's completely unrelated,_" she said dismissively. "_Anyways, don't lecture me when you're just the same._"

I smirked as an idea came to me. "Ah, I guess bad habits just rub off easily on me."

"_What are you trying to say?"_

"Well, you must remember the certain leader that taught everyone how to awaken their powers before she awakened her own. I've always taken her as my example."

Minako went silent while I bathed in my victory. It wasn't easy to get someone like her tongue-tied, believe me.

"_Minako! Time to go._" A new voice, muffled by distance, called rather impatiently.

"_Hold on a second,_" Minako whispered briefly into the phone before she went to talk with the person that was undoubtedly her manager.

I took this time to calm down. It's rather childish how we always end up arguing over one thing or another. If I had simply explained that I was looking for a sponsor in the first place, like I did with Makoto and Ami-chan…but for some reason I always loose the rational side of my mind. Evasive is how we've always dealt with each other.

"_Sorry, I've got to get ready," _Minako said, her voice had visibly lost its edge.

"Don't get too suicidal, okay?" I said softly. "Take care of yourself."

I couldn't say more, because it would probably end up reminding her of that time.

"_Thanks."_

I hesitated. There was simply more things I wanted to say, much more.

"_Well, I got to go. See you later."_

"Bye." And the line went dead.

I held onto the receiver for a few more seconds, and when I peeled my hands away, I noticed how sweaty it got. Was I nervous, excited? I don't know exactly which, but my heart was having a hard time calming down.

Was this the effect she had on me, I wonder. I walked back to my room but soon found that lying down was not enough for me. I ended up grabbing a random magazine out of the shelf and flipped through the pages. Strange, I only do that when I'm in a really good mood. I guess it had been her effect on me. I simply didn't expect that she would call. And I was upset before because I _had_ expected that she would send me letters.

Again, my theory is proven right. It's a lot less painful if I didn't expect anything.

But why had she called in the first place? She said she didn't expect me to be here, which makes absolutely no sense unless…unless…

I got up and went over to the phone, this time dialing the number of my phone company.

After ten minutes I came back with a long page of different phone numbers that had called me within the past few months, and over 90 of them had the same country code. Each of those lasted a ridiculously long record of over a minute each.

Ah, that's right. My answer machine only starts after forty rings or so, just so nobody would leave me a message unless it was urgent.

I checked my answer machine again. No messages.

I squeezed the paper tightly in my hands, confused as ever.

Minako, just what are you thinking?

_To be continued…_

--

_Six National Histories_, one of the core books for Shinto faith.

Canterbury College, for those interested, is a real college. I did my research thank you.

Yes yes, I got started on another story, and sorry sorry, but it looks like I'll stop updating Cloud Nine all together. It was my first (very bad) attempt, and starting around ch9-ish I started to lose initiative. But I stuck with it, and now it's all gone. I thought I had lost interest in reimina (oh no!), but in the end it was just the fanfic. I'd kill myself if the former happened.

Now, I have to thank all those readers who pushed me semi-through my first fic. Thanks to you guys I grew a lot as a writer. I hope you all can enjoy this one as well, hopefully more. This time: no fighting, no enemies, no past life, just two girls struggling to find each other and their crazy pack of friends.

Alright, this is my first time writing in first person, so I'm going to experiment around a bit. Feel free to leave me some criticism. And let pgsm live on!


	2. Coincidence

Chapter 2 – Coincidence –

Quote of the Day: Let intellect go to hell and live instinct! –_Banjo_

Anyone know why it always repeats the first line for every doc i submit?

--

I took a long breath, resisting the urge to slam the phone down. This was going to be a long night. And there is only one thing to say about long nights: they're usually sleepless ones. And lack of sleep always makes me grumpy. So if you ever fancied getting your ears blown off, try calling.

How I wish I can do that right now. But I couldn't to the old man. He's my superior, my mentor, and all my financial problems are in his hands. So if I blow him off I'm totally screwed. Then again, if I let him go on with this tirade I'd rather knock my head against a tree.

Dead ends both ways. Inspiring prospects.

I sighed heavily as the old man continued his speech nonstop on the phone.

"Takami-sensei," I cut in as politely as I managed, and I wasn't managing very hard. I was too tired to try. It's past midnight, for heaven's sake. "Please, you know I'm not into this kind of offer,"

"I'm only asking you to consider it, Rei-san," he insisted. "It's not any day that an English investor becomes interested in your shrine. Think of the impact it could bring to the shrine, to your future! And he also said he'd be willing to sponsor your college tuition on top of everything else. This is one rare offer you're letting go on, Rei-san."

Rare offer indeed. I suppressed a sneer. A man who doesn't know anything about me or my work wants to give me all that money? I'd be surprised if he didn't ask me to marry him. Or worse…

"And just how exactly did he become interested in Hikawa Shrine, sensei?" I asked with all the innocence I could master.

He faltered. There, that's what I thought!

"Sensei, my decisions are final. I'm not so desperate yet as to sell myself for money."

"R-Rei-san!" he exclaimed like I had just said the most scandalous thing. "Williams-sama had no such intentions! All he requested is a week of your presence in London!"

"Well, I've said all I can say about this matter. Good day to you, Takami-sensei."

I slammed the phone down rather roughly, making sure the old man get the idea not to call me about this anymore. Seriously, people these days. What wouldn't they do for money?

I took a deep breath, for the fortieth time already! I can't let these little things get to me so easily. And seriously, why did he call me in the middle of the night? He knows me long enough to remember that I go to bed long before midnight. I shouldn't have picked up in the first place. Honestly, I wouldn't have picked up if it wasn't for…

If it wasn't for…

I wonder how she'll react if she knew.

Alright, she'll probably, definitely, laugh at me. Me, insomnia? The two words just don't go together ever. Ever. I've never lost sleep over much of anything, and to think that a little phone call can drive me to this. It's ridiculous, I know, but there's little I can do. The harder I try to sleep it just keeps on getting worse, and now I have to take naps in the afternoon to make up for my lack of sleep. I can see her twinkling eyes mocking me already.

I mean, of course I know why I'm not sleeping. I want to hear from her, want to bad, but it isn't as simple as that. If it were, I could track her number and call her back, unless she changes phones at an unhealthy rate of one per day. That would be so her, taking everything to the extreme. Of course she'd throw the exact thing back at me. We are both proud, we never admit our shortcomings, and we especially hate loosing. Our personalities clash in more ways than I can think of, so we are always at odds with each other, neither backing down. But one thing's for sure, we love to see the other one loose. Our whole relationship was built out of this kind of hostility. We love to play our little game, and this time we are at it again, the same old silly game that gradually built the underlying rivalry that so strongly bonded us together.

I've always found the best way to understand her is through competition. She's the simplest that way. She's constantly throwing challenges at me, and me being me, I never back down. When she left for London, I accused her of many things: cowardly, weak, incompetent. Face it, she was running away from us whether she wanted to admit it or not. And I absolutely hate it when she throws all of her problems on her own shoulders and hides away so she wouldn't receive any help or sympathy. It wasn't a pleasant goodbye, and I'm sure she still holds it against me. In the heat of the moment I silently vowed that I would let her be from now on, that I'd stop worrying after her. I think she did the same, and we haven't been in touch since.

The game lasted for two years. I missed her, but for the sake of my pride I refused to give in. So I went to Kyoto, choosing to shut myself off for a while in order to build my resolve. But it still hurt when I found out she had been writing to everyone except me. Humans are ironic like that.

Yes, between us everything is a game, and we consciously hurt each other. But in the end I cared about her. And her calls to the shrine for the past year are just a stubborn way to say 'I miss you.'

I don't know how long I sat there in thought. But when the phone rang again, it was well past two in the morning.

Who could it be this time? I was tired, and getting sleepy, so I let the phone ring and switch over to the answer machine.

But the caller hanged up right when the machine beeped. My heart leaped and instantly I jumped for the receiver, only to hear consecutive beeps signaling that the call had ended.

C-could that have been?

I put the receiver back down and slumped against the wall. If that really were the case, I would never forgive myself.

Then, to my surprise, the ringing started up again.

My hand hovered above the receiver, hesitating. I hate it whenever I get indecisive. I don't even know what I'm doing. There's nothing to be afraid of, right?

"Hello?" I said weakly. My heart was pounding for a response.

"Ssshhhh!" All I got was a harsh cat-like hiss that nearly pierced my ears. Well that was definitely unexpected.

"Excuse me? Who's calling?" I demanded immediately.

There were some fumbling sounds, then a voice I haven't heard for two years broke the silence. "Don't talk, okay? Just listen."

I frowned. "Artem—"

"Sssshhhh!" Again I was met with the hiss.

On reflex I opened my mouth to protest, but seeing that this was Artemis, he must have a point. And since it's him, this obviously got something to do with her. So I waited not-so-patiently while fidgeting with the phone cord. When the fumbling died down, I caught a faint conversation of two people in the background. One of them I knew too well.

"Michael, what are you doing?"

"Nothing! Anyways, where are we? Oh right, your plans?"

"Nothing special, really. An event with the fans, and a party with the hospital kids…"

I held my breath and pressed the phone painfully closer to my ear so I could hear better. That was definitely Minako. She had a way of talking about her plans that left little room for discussion, let alone disagreement.

"Stop, Minako."

"Michael…" I could already hear stubbornness leaking into her voice.

"No, we're talking about your birthday here. _Your_ birthday, not your fans', and not the kids'."

The man's got a point you know, I added silently.

There was a short pause. "I know that. It's not like I'm not going to see my family."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Minako. It's just…nothing."

"What?"

"No. You'll be upset if I said it."

"_What_ is it?" I could picture the scowl she had on. She was so predictable at times. "Alright! I won't be upset."

"Don't you think you should go see your friends in Tokyo? I mean, you miss them right? And I'm sure they miss you too."

"Michael…"

The way she said the name made me cringe. It was too…I just never heard her sound this way.

"Look, I want your hatachi to be the best day possible for you. And since I can't be here to make that happen, I'd rather you spend some time with people who can make you happy."

"…You're so sweet, you know…but, I can't. I'm not ready for that yet."

"Just what aren't you ready for? Don't tell me…" Michael-or-whoever's voice dropped an octave lower. "Those rumors, are they—"

"No! Of course not!" Minako nearly yelled. "How could you even suggest _that_?"

"But…you always get so tense when we talk about Japan. If your manger didn't practically threaten you, you wouldn't even go for a tour next spring. Am I getting the wrong idea?"

"N-no. You're right. It's just…I've got something to figure out before I go back. I've told you before right? We aren't a pack of normal high school friends. Our circumstances are a bit…complicated."

"I see. Well, I won't mention it again, but I still think it's a good idea."

"Thanks, Michael. You're always putting up with me."

Up until now I was silently praying that this guy would somehow convince the stubborn idol. I'd be his best friend if he made it happen.

What I heard next, though, chanced everything.

"I'm on your side, Minako, so don't hold back anything when you're with me, okay?"

"Uhn."

My stomach started to turn.

"I love yo—"

I slammed the phone down so hard that the ringing in my ears lasted for at least a minute. When I finally tore my hand away from the phone, my knuckles had practically all turned white and it took some flexes before my fingers listened to me again.

But the knot in the pit of my stomach was harder to resolve. Just who was that guy? Her lover? My mind formed a mental picture of the scene I just overheard, Minako sitting on the lap of a blonde stranger…

I mentally shook it off. Too much information.

But a boyfriend? I suppose it's natural enough for an idol, but damn, isn't she ever going to tell us anything? The next day thing you know she's going to have a kid and we're all standing in Japan wondering when her wedding is. Well, given that she'll marry before having children, but I guess that's not always true anymore.

I can totally see it coming, Minako in court fighting for possession of her children.

No, impossible. She's more sensible than the common pop star out there, and a lot more responsible too, for herself at least. As for other people, she's just good at keeping us un-updated. I mean, I haven't got any letters from her and I can guess what she wrote in every single one: sorry guys, I've been busy; I miss you a lot; I'll try to visit sometime; etc, etc. Seriously, does she think she's answering fan letters to us?

Am I over-thinking this? For sure she didn't have a whole lot in common with the rest of us except for senshi business, and since she was mostly working alone, the whole episode didn't really help her bond with us. All in all we were a team and she's just Venus. I don't remember how long it took before we stopped calling her Venus out of habit.

But her whole London act still had an unsettling feeling to it, as if she were really running away from us. I knew she's extremely devoted to Usagi as the princess, and she cares about the other senshi like comrades. But beyond that…is there anything beyond that?

I've thought about this many times before, and every time it makes me depressed. Can you blame me? She makes it look like I'm having a single-sided relationship here. Well, it's not exactly like that. I don't see her like that. But she's still a friend, a pretty close friend.

Sometimes I wonder if I had to choose between her and Usagi…I probably can't choose, which is good, I think. It's best not to think about these things.

But she has such an effect on me. When I met Usagi I thought I'd finally found something to have faith in, and then meeting Minako was like opening a new door for me. For a while I was addicted to seeing her, and not just because she was the princess. I think it was her smile. When she smiled at me I felt like I'd take down the Moon just to see that radiant expression on her face again. And her eyes too, so deeply pain-stricken yet incredibly strong. I wonder if I'm weird, thinking about her like this. But she does have the talent to make people want to see more of her. It's what made her so popular, after all.

I sighed. Way too popular.

I wish she could just be normal for once. Her work took away so much from her life, and she's always preoccupied with her fans to pay any attention to herself. I used to think that I didn't have much of a childhood, but she's been a top idol and super crime-fighter since she was fourteen! Now all our powers are gone we're supposed to be left with a lot of free time on our hands, and she's still as busy as hell.

And yet she found the time to walk into a relationship and couldn't find the ten seconds to tell us?

My fingers found their way into a fist again and together they came into contact with the nearest wall in a loud bang.

It took me a minute before I realized that I had hit. I hit something, damn it! I've really lost it.

Without another thought I ran to the sacred fire.

--

It bothers me how things always go the opposite when you're trying to get something done. It's even more annoying when it just seems to apply to me. At least that's how the world's been working against me for the past few days. Needless to say, I haven't been in the best of moods lately, and all that I needed to push me over the edge was an early wake-up call from none other than Usagi.

You would expect Usagi to be last person on Earth to be pounding on my door at six o'clock in the morning on a Sunday of all times, but she did, with Ami-chan and Makoto in tow. Now there was something unnaturally suspicious about this, so the first thing that came to mind was youma. Did Mio or whatever get reincarnated? Again? I was about to hit my head against the wall due to my mounting headache, and Usagi's excited babbling wasn't helping.

Oh yes, she was excited today. Not that she's ever un-hyper, unless she's sick or worried about the fate of the world, mind you, but today there was something very, very odd about her. First, she hasn't stopped for breath for the past minute. Second, she's jumping. I mean literally, all around my room. And Makoto wasn't even trying to push her down. Ami-chan too; though I could tell she's trying to keep a cool head about this—and failing somewhat—this was the happiest I've seen her since she told us she was qualified to be a professional pediatrician.

Okay, that does it.

"Usagi! Sit down!" I yelled, rubbing my throbbing temples. "You aren't making sense."

"Eh? But, but, Rei-chan, I just got—"

"Rei-chan," Ami-chan cut in with a frown. "Are you feeling alright? Not enough sleep?"

"Did you stay up or something last night?" Makoto asked curiously.

I grimaced. They had practically hit the mark perfectly. Should I confess that I sat in front of the fire all the way until morning because of last night? Probably not.

"A little. I did some meditation and lost track of time," I said.

They relaxed a little, and Usagi opened her mouth to continue. I could feel my headache meter climb already, and made a small noise in protest.

"Please, someone other than Usagi tell me what's going on. Sorry," I added when I saw her mouth form a big a pout. "But you're too hyper to say anything coherent."

"Well, Usagi got an over-night priority mail delivered this morning," Makoto said. Even her voice shook slightly. "And she got this letter."

Unfolding the letter quickly, I let my curiosity get the best of me and scanned the short note.

_Everyone, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to visit you. But I really miss you. If you have time, please visit me in London. I've sent four plane tickets. My address is:_

_45, Welbeck Street, London, W1G 8DZ_

_I look forward to seeing you again._

_Sincerely, _

_Minako Aino._

And suddenly I was awake. A mix of excitement and disbelief hit me. Did it actually read four plane tickets? Four, not three? I quickly turned to Usagi, and sure enough, in her hands were four tickets from Tokyo to London. I jumped up and snatched them from her, looking more closely. No doubt about it, they were real. Oh god, I knew I was grinning from ear to ear, but I could care less at the moment. I can see her, was all I could think about.

"T-this…" my voice almost cracked.

"Was obviously not written by Minako-chan," Ami-chan said logically.

Her voice was cold as ice to me, and it made the burning sensation in me disappear, replacing it with a tight feeling in my stomach. I looked back down at the letter clutched in my hands, my uneasiness growing by the second.

"It was typed, and it's all written in Romaji," Ami-chan continued to make observations that totally escaped my eye. "Plus, Minako-chan never signs with sincerely or includes her surname."

My hands slowly dropped to my sides. I felt like an absolute idiot.

"But, but, but!" Usagi added excitedly. "The tickets are real, and there's no harm to give it a try, right?"

"But Usagi-chan," Ami reasoned. "If we get there and it's all a show, we'll have to buy our own tickets back. Not to mention we would have to miss work and classes."

"It doesn't look like someone's joke, Ami-chan," Makoto addressed the easier part of Ami's concern. "Whoever it is knew Usagi's address and even bought all those tickets for us. Maybe Minako-chan told someone to deliver the message. What do you think, Rei?"

"Huh?" I blinked. I knew I wanted to go badly, and my face probably showed it. But I can't admit it like this. "Well, a potential sponsor of mine is from London and I already planned to fly over to meet him next week, so..."

You never know when something comes in handy. Remind me to thank the old man later.

Usagi looked like she was about to jump into my arms. "Yes! Now all that's left is to excuse Ami-chan from work!"

"But—"

"You're coming with us, right Ami-chan?" Usagi gave the doctor her best puppy dog look.

Ami feigned a helpless sigh, and admitted with a small blush, "Well…it's going to be hard to get a leave from the hospital, but…"

"And Mako-chan?"

"How can I miss out when you're all going?" Her eyes literally glowed. "I'm sure Motoki-kun can look after the shop for a few days."

"Ah! I can't wait!" Usagi started jumping around again. But surprisingly my headache didn't come back. "I was going to mail Minako-chan her birthday present but now I can give it to her in person! This is sooo cool! I can't believe Minako-chan invited us to her birthday!"

A present. Right, I almost forgot about that. Not that I totally forgot her birthday, but I don't think I can stand her haughty sneer if she caught me sending her a present. Nor the reactions from the Usagi and the others either. Besides, I always hang a charm for her every year. Secretly, of course. But since I caught her secret phone calls, I think we could consider this round settled. Plus, she's basically begging me to visit her.

Well, at least that's what my ego would like to think.

"But what about your classes, Usagi-chan? Mako-chan?"

Ami's inquiry was strategically avoided.

And so it was decided. The flight booked for us departs in two days, and it put us on a tight schedule. After a quick breakfast, we all rushed out to town to buy her birthday presents. Usagi and Makoto went overboard and purchased a suitcase of posters and the newest Nako Nakos that were going to enter the family of signed Minako products. Even Ami snuck an anniversary CD collection when she thought no one was watching.

As tired as I was when I got back, I went through the ritual to wish Takami-sensei good health.

Kami-sama bless the good old man.

_To be continued…_

--

AN: For those who don't know, hatachi is twenty years old, the age where Japanese consider the beginning of the "adult" age. All twenty-year-olds in Japan attend the Coming of Age Ceremony, but I guess that won't happen since it's London.

Next one will be in Minako's perspective.

And yes, Ayaka-chan's smile is damn addicting. Of course, Kei-chan's is nothing less than a drug.


	3. Birthday Present

Chapter 3 – Birthday Present –

AN: If opposites attract, wouldn't their child turn out to be the strangest little monster ever?

As mentioned before (if anyone remembered what I said six months ago), this is in Minako's perspective.

---

Sometimes, I really can't stand kids.

That thought suddenly popped into my head. I watched Nick wipe my car's windows sparkling clean, wondering where that had come from.

It's not that they're not cute or anything, but some of them can be extremely immature. Back in Japan, if a kid were asked to imitate me, he'll probably fall down and pretend to faint, never knowing how that little gesture could hurt me. And now these London boys are scribbling offensive messages on my car. I really can't decide which ones I hate more. But you really can't blame them all that much; it's what they hear from their parents. And TV. And magazines. And internet.

The list can go on.

Luckily I remembered to check my windows before driving off. And Nick is always trustworthy enough to solve this problem without it leaking out to the press. I'm glad that I met a mechanic fan. He takes care of maintenance and babies my Mercedes more than I do. And recently he's been kind enough to take care of my windows.

You'd never imagine what they scribble on them. It's been going on for weeks, but they still come up with the most innovative phrases that make me laugh.

But others won't be as kind. If Michael saw any of them he'd go beat the kids down personally.

That's why I have to hide this from him. This is something I have to deal with myself. I think he knows, more or less, but he understands me enough to not ask about it.

He gets so protective sometimes that it overwhelms me. Not that I dislike it, but his eyes remind me of someone else. If she knew what London was doing to my career, she might just hop on the next plane headed straight for me.

Unconsciously I pull out my cell phone just to shut it again. I find myself staring at her name and number more and more, and I don't know if I'm happy about the fact. Sometimes I really wish to just ask for Rei's advice and risk her getting over-worked up about the situation. Her protectiveness is just on another level. I don't know what I'll do if she starts yelling at the tabloid reporters, because she might do just that.

Actually, why am I kidding myself. The first thing she'd do once she get her hands on the situation is yell at me, then maybe somehow trick me into confronting the rumor myself. She'll know my wimpy side and how much I like to run away from my problems, points out a thousand of my faults, embarrass me to no end, while managing to support my back all the same. Her character is conflicting, but that's why despite our hostile dealings with each other we still have some sort of friendly connection.

Rei is definitely a friend. Perhaps my best friend. The best friend I'll ever have.

But I feel too close to her. And that's exactly the problem. I feel comfortable writing to Usagi and Makoto and Ami, but when it's time to write her card…the simplest things make me hesitate. Should I start with _Rei, how are you? _like on the other cards? But it's hardly my style to inquire after her like that. Simply _Rei _is a bit cold. Then again, _Dear Rei _would sound too formal. Then, even after I decide on a greeting, which end up being the first one I wrote down that day, that was about as far as I got. I'd think whether she'll be expecting something from me, whether she'll be at the shrine to receive it. I don't know what to put down and what not to.

If I put everything down, she'd be reading a novel.

In the end I didn't send her a postcard at all. I hope she understands. Things between us don't have to be stated. It's probably best to leave it just as an unexpressed feeling. We should both know the connection that binds us together.

I wish there was a way to let her read my mind. There are things I can never tell her directly because I'm far from sentimental. And so is she. She'll probably laugh at me if I said something stupid.

Something like: _I really need you right now._

Michael asked me what I wanted the most and promised me that he will get it for my birthday. At the time, the first thing that came to mind was Rei. But of course I didn't tell him. It's useless. That's something that will never come true unless I acted on the wish myself.

That won't happen, either.

------

"So…" Michael started as soon as I got home. He was standing awkwardly in the living room and his hands were fiddling. Something's always very, very wrong when he's like this.

I looked at him suspiciously. But he avoided my eyes with a weak attempt to pick up the magazine by his feet.

"So?" I encouraged him to continue.

Hesitantly he took a step forward and shrugged. "Notice anything different?"

If he meant the incredibly large box sitting by the couch, then yes, it was the first thing I noticed. It seems too large to be a birthday gift. Did he buy me some sort of machine? But it's too big even for a laundry washer. A car? Statue?

Really, I was being silly, but I'd like to know what I was getting into. I looked at him for clarification, but he shrugged again.

So I moved closer the box, suspicious of what would come out of there. A million possibilities jumped to mind, but not this one.

Literally, she _jumped_ into my arms. One second I was removing the wrapping, and the next my arms were full of a body that nearly tackled me to the ground. All I could register were screams and running, and before I could react, I was surrounded.

"Minako-chan!"

I heard my name being screamed and I was tackled with hugs. My head swirled; I felt excitement long before my mind could register the scene. Usagi grabbed my arms and we jumped up and down together, putting my image aside. The craziness continued until someone finally got a hold on her.

I felt dizzy looking at the people surrounding me. There was something unbelievable about this, and my mind was slow on the uptake. I took a careful look around my friends, absorbing their genuine smiles. They took me back to the bridge, to the time when we escaped death and destiny together.

"Usagi, Makoto, Ami-chan…"

Suddenly my mind came to a halt. There was another name hanging on my tongue. My vision cleared and I was painfully aware of the three people standing in front of me.

Three…not four.

I should have guessed as much. How could I expect a miracle to really happen, even if it's my twentieth birthday?

"Hey."

That voice! Could it be?

My eyes darted too eagerly in search of her. She was acting cool as always, leaning slightly against the wall facing us. Judging from where she was, she must have been hiding in another room rather than that cardboard box. But my mind saw nothing expect her, and my heart pounded with crazy speed. I stood there like an idiot, completely absorbed by her presence. But she wore that unreadable expression on her face again, and although she pushed herself off of the wall, she made no signal to move towards us.

It was the coldest greeting I ever received, but somehow it was the most special.

She came. She's…here.

I watched her for a long time, my tears rolling around the verge of my eye lids. Then without a warning, she suddenly walked over and pulled me into a light hug. The impact was enough to make the first tears flowing, and I shamefully hid my face in her shoulder. Almost immediately she tightened her arms around me, and something inside me snapped.

I felt ashamed that I was acting so weak, but emotion after emotion flowed through me that the tears wouldn't stop. By now I don't even know why I am crying anymore. I was frustrated, happy, and lost. The things I couldn't tell anybody, I let them all out.

What was wrong with me, I wonder. But the emotions were gone as fast as they came, and in no time, I was back to the dignified and stubborn Aino Minako.

I must have been spacing for a long time, because the next time I took notice, we were sitting on the couches, all five of us. They were talking, but I only managed to listen absently, my eyes wondering to Michael from time to time. From out of nowhere nervousness took control. What would he interpret from my outburst? I don't know where this fear came from, but I was scared of his reaction. He caught my eyes, giving me a weak smile as if to comfort me, but something different was playing under the surface. He didn't give me time to pry though, moving off to the kitchen to get some drinks.

The heavy feeling lifted. Without him standing there I felt more at ease, and I allowed myself to laugh freely, to talk freely. It was a reminiscent feeling. I never realized how much I had missed it.

"Minako-chan?"

I blinked. Did I miss something? "I'm sorry, Usagi. What?"

"How about you, Minako-chan? I want to know _all_ about what you've been up to for these two years!"

I smiled automatically at her enthusiasm. As always, it's infectious to the point that no matter what she says, she seems to be able to cheer me up.

"Well…"

I trailed, feeling an intense gaze fixed on me. Looking over at Rei, I found her looking at me with unrivaled intensity. It could literally burn a hole, but at the same time her eyes lacked the twinkling excitement of the others'. Was she trying to hide her interest? Or is she just being polite and looking my direction? Somehow I doubt that it's the second, but with her hazy eyes I could never define whether she was feigning interest or disinterest.

Either way, I enjoyed the attention.

"Nothing changed, really. My job still keeps me busy morning till night, though I'll be releasing more English songs in my next album. Besides that, they're planning a new drama that I'll appear in probably next year."

"Nothing's changed, you say?" Makoto gave me lopsided smirk followed by a playful jab that left me confused. "Then tell us, who's Michael?"

The question hit me in a wrong way. "Michael?" I thought I almost squeaked. Everyone gave me a strange look as I stumbled for a way to cover myself. "He's just…it's supposed to be secret."

"A secret love affair huh?" Makoto continued to taunt.

"Oh tell me tell me!" Usagi chimed in.

"Well the press doesn't know," I glanced sideways into the kitchen, remembering his words. "Michael's a bit reluctant to make it public."

"Is there some kind of problem?" Usagi asked innocently.

I winced rather noticeably at her choice of words, earning me a range of looks.

But Ami quickly caught my reluctance. "Guys, we don't have the right to pry into Minako-chan's private life," she gave Usagi a subdued kick.

"But this isn't prying!" Usagi complained. "It's just girl-talk, right?"

Beside her, Makoto nodded vigorously in agreement. I sighed. How is this different from a press interview?

Nothing. So I decided to treat it in the same way.

"We met a while back when I was filming my first movie in London," I let my mind wonder back in time. "Michael helped me a lot with translating since my English wasn't that great. After a while we met in a café during break so he could correct my pronunciation. One day out of the blue he asked me to dinner and—"

"Ahem," Rei coughed rather uncharacteristically for attention.

I frowned, and so did Usagi. But that's probably geared more towards the interruption than anything else.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm a little hungry."

That was the most Usagi-like statement I have ever heard. Have they been hanging around each other too much? Coming from Rei, it almost sounded a little rude.

"Now that Rei-chan mentions it," Ami paused slightly to give me a meaningful look. "I guess I am too."

Ah, so that's what this is about. But Rei, you seriously lack tact.

"Why don't we eat first? I think Michael called delivery," I said while giving Rei a thankful smile, which she conveniently did not see.

The doorbell followed my words just in time. I rose all too eagerly and moved towards the door, Usagi bouncing giddily behind me and snatching the cake away at the first opportunity.

Besides her, Rei gave a light snort.

"What?" Usagi asked, rapping both arms around the box protectively.

"Greedy as always."

"Am not!"

"Very convincing. So whose cake are you holding?"

"I-I'm only helping Minako-chan carry it!"

"Right, just so you can have the first slice."

"Rei-chan! Mou…" Usagi pouted.

I watched them laugh, suddenly feeling left out of their happy circle. It's a feeling that has been haunting me since the day I knew of my mission. Back then I was overly-conscious of the reasons that I should stay segregated from the team, but even when the reasons disappeared, the feeling didn't. To see their familiar gestures, to hear them exchange an inside joke…all those things pushed me further away.

Maybe they don't realize it, but I will always remain an idol more so than a friend.

Well, maybe not Rei. To her I was always a stubborn little girl from the start. And knowing that helped a lot.

But it's moments like this where I even feel the growing gap between us, and I can't blame anyone except for myself. Watching her smile I remembered all the times that I hesitated, doubted, lied. It made me weak and miserable.

The next thing came out before I could think.

"Don't worry about Rei, Usagi. She just didn't want to admit that she wants the whole cake for herself."

Her eyes shot up to meet mine, and I matched her menacing glare with an easy smile. Rei narrowed her eyes and took up the challenge.

"I was just trying to save you a piece of your birthday cake before it gets devoured," she said offhandedly. "Though, by the looks of it, you'd be better off not getting the extra calories."

Ouch. Even though I knew that was a joke, it still kind of hurt. She knows that I care the most about my appearance, yet she still decided to take a jab there. I should have seen that coming from her.

"Rei, if you want my piece, you only have to ask. We all know you could use a few pounds. You look like the wind could knock you over."

Meaningless words meant to only hurt, but they completely grabbed her attention, and for a strange reason I was very proud of myself.

"Well, I don't know about that. I certainly want to have enough energy so I wouldn't walk around half-asleep and ruin my coat. What's wrong? Oh you don't remember? Don't worry, Usagi told me all about your _graceful_ little accident."

For a second I considered bringing up her lack of fighting ability, but I thought better about it. That split second hesitation was enough to show my defeat.

Rei smirked in triumph. "Never mind, I take what I said back. They're certainly not giving you enough nutrition. You've gotten a lot slower than the last time I saw you. Maybe it's old age?"

"Says the person who's half a year older," I shot back automatically.

This time it was Rei who stopped herself short. I watched her clenching and unclenching her teeth, an uneasy feeling settling in my stomach. Rei was never the one to hold back, to second guess herself, and I have no idea what her behavior meant.

Are we different now?

Then a loud grumble brought the house alive again. Usagi held her stomach with a big blush, and laughter filled the entire living room. She gestured timidly towards the dining table, where dishes of a mix of western and traditional Japanese food were already set out. It was only then that I noticed that Michael was giving us a peculiar look somewhere between amusement and confusion. Somehow I had completely isolated him during the whole exchange, and he must have had a hard time following since his Japanese isn't polished to the point of perfection. He must be feeling left out.

I gave him an apologetic smile and mentally scolded myself. When I moved to join him at the table, a hand grabbed me by the arm.

Rei leaned in so only I could hear her.

"I'm surprised you managed to remember that much about me."

Those were the last words Rei said to me all night.

---

4:37 AM

I sighed and turned my head away from the clock. No use reminding myself that I can't fall asleep.

It could be that the conversation soon turned over to me and Michael, and if I remember correctly, Ami-chan didn't talk all that much either during that time. So it wouldn't be surprising that Rei simply wasn't interested in him. Maybe it's just me, but those two don't seem to be getting along from the start. Well, that might be jumping to conclusions, because Rei was scowling at nearly everyone in the room. And Michael…

He was giving her one of those looks.

That look.

I've seen it too often that I can't pretend that it's not there, but it's the first time I've seen it from him.

Do I really give off that…no, impossible. How could that rumor be true? I'm with Michael after all. He must be hearing too much from everyone else and it's starting to have an affect over him. I can't really blame him for swaying slightly, but I really hope he doesn't get the wrong idea about Rei. Especially after what happened.

It probably shocked him. He used to tease that I'm probably incapable of crying because I'm so stubborn. Well, I do hate showing too much emotion, but with Rei it's different. She has seen the time when I felt the weakest, and she stuck with my stubbornness to the end. That's why, with her, I can allow tears, not that I'm proud of the fact.

Sometimes, I feel like she knows the most complete me.

But because of that, I'm left vulnerable in front of her. And then I try to distance myself to feel safe. But even then I'm always tempted to tease her about the littlest things, and more often than not I end up hurting her pride in some way.

In the end, I don't know what to do with her. And I keep to my teasing ways even when there are other things that I want to say.

Because that's the easiest way to deal with her.

I guess that means that I'm taking the easy way out.

I wonder if I'm like that with everything. When I was afraid to face a failed operation, I waited for the tumor to eat me away. Then Rei took presence in my life, but her words cut too deep into my reality that I pushed her away. And even after I was resurrected with everyone else, I couldn't face her properly. Should I thank her, or pretend that nothing happened? I'm so indecisive when it comes to her that I hate myself.

So I did nothing.

The last thing I wanted was for things to be awkward between us. Yet it happened anyways, and I don't know what to do.

I suppose I should make it up to her, for starters, and thank her for coming, though that might come off a bit too sentimental.

I guess I'll return to teasing her about it if nothing else works. That much never change.

Beside me, Michael muttered something incoherent and returned to sleeping soundly. He must be dead tired from work, and yet he still went all out for today. Seriously, he tries too hard.

"I know you want to make me happy," I murmured softly. "But it's no good to over-exert yourself."

He must have heard that rumor. How could he not? We both work in the same industry and rumors spread fast. I must have made him worry with my constant mood swings, and that's why he's trying too hard to make my birthday special. I guess I owe him an explanation. After all, if I don't talk to him about my problems, then who else?

Speaking of which, I still have no idea how he managed to ship four people from Tokyo to London behind my back. He's been avoiding the subject all night, and I didn't have a chance to ask Usagi.

I watched his face for a long time in silence, peace finally settling in my mind. I suppose it's a good think that he will be leaving for a while. I can at least focus on one matter at a time.

And then, when he gets back, we'll talk about it. For sure.

_To be continued…(soon)_

---

So my friends, I hate saying this, but I must, because there's nothing else suitable.

I'M SO SORRY!

This procrastination is a new record.

Yeah, let's just leave it at that.

I greatly appreciate all the reviews and encouraging pms I received. A special thanks to youte and reiminafan, who dropped reviews when I was least expecting them and got my fingers typing again. Please keep passing along your thoughts.

Also, I'm open for a beta for grammar and plot consistency. Please drop me an email if you are interested.


	4. Morning Calls

Chapter 4 -- Morning Calls --

AN: So 4 chapters in, and finally they get to have their first little moment. Expect nothing less than awkwardness. They've never talked outside context of their mission, after all.

And it's 4 something in the morning. No classes…yum yum.

---

I'm hungry.

I touched my stomach and swallowed painfully. While waking up to an empty stomach might happen to just about anyone, I was feeling particularly ticked off this morning for a number of reasons. First, well, it's only barely five in the morning, and that means I only laid down three hours ago, and…yeah there's a lot of problem with that. Second, not only am I suffering from insomnia, lack of appetite seems to have squeezed its little way into the list as well, and thinking that I'd most likely live off of western food doesn't brighten the future much. Third, Usagi is determined to throw a karaoke party for Minako's birthday, which is actually tomorrow. Why? Because she's Usagi, and when she's really excited or really sad the only thing she'll do is throw a party. Putting aside the fact that I absolutely hate karaoke, there's also something unnerving about singing with her watching me. Usagi, Makoto, Ami-chan, well I've made enough of a fool of myself to even care anymore, but Minako? If I were to do anything in front of her, I'd have to make my best effort, and when it comes to singing, even my best would make her laugh.

She's Minako. How can I ever get close to what's naturally hers?

I'm sure if I told them that I was worried about such a thing they'd make fun of me. After all, Minako loves singing, Usagi _loves_ singing, and Ami-chan and Makoto will have fun, so how can I ruin it? I guess I'll just entertain myself with the other things, namely, food…

My stomach growled. Great, just what I needed.

I pulled myself up into an upright position, the dizziness resulting from my empty stomach making me forget all the annoying little thoughts that kept sleep away from me. At least I used to have my sacred fire on my side, and I could use some meditation as an excu…well, tradeoff. A productive tradeoff, if you ask me. It's also a nice way to put my mind at peace. And judging from my first night in London, the future is dim.

For a second I listened in hopes of finding another sleepless fellow to share the pain. But the house is silent. Everyone must be soundly sleeping in their rooms.

I really should have eaten more last night, no matter what happened.

Quickly throwing on some clothes, I tiptoed out of the room and headed downstairs for the kitchen, choosing to ignore the little voice that repeated what she had said. It's a little unfair that she isn't aware of her words, or at least how I'll take them. She practically disappeared out of my life for four years and now she expects everything to turn out normally? What a princess! She needs to know the world doesn't revolve around her.

Well, whatever, I said I'd forget it. No use wasting more time brooding on an empty stomach.

I circled the kitchen for something to eat, but everything was put away neatly. The idiot obviously didn't think enough when she decided to clean up.

I sighed, reluctantly climbing back up the stairs. Looks like I'm out of luck today.

"Rei?"

I looked up, finding Minako suddenly standing directly at the top of the stairs. I must have stepped backwards in surprise and had to grab on to the railing for balance, because she looked like she was trying hard not to laugh.

"You're up early. Was there something you need?"

Funny you'd ask.

"Ah…actually…" I paused, suddenly remembering that I should be mad at her. "No it's nothing. Just…going to the bathroom."

"The bathroom's that way," she pointed down the hall.

"Right," I turned and immediately my stomach protested. My pride or my stomach, which one would I sacrifice?

Something tells me she knew what I was thinking, which is scary considering she'll probably mock me to no end. When I turned to look at her, she dramatically half-danced her way down to the kitchen without a word, even pausing at the bottom of the stairs to check if I was following her. Catching my glare, she gave me a half grin and proceeded to her destination with determination.

Well fine! The more she wants me to admit it, the less chance she has of hearing it.

Besides, the worst part of hunger had passed. I should just go back and get more sleep.

"Rei?"

"What?"

"Well that was grumpy of you. I'm going to make some pancakes. It's a bit early, but want some?"

Wait. Was this really Minako being kind to me? I couldn't help but think of all her possible intentions, not that you can really blame me for thinking this way. She's the type who'd lure me deep enough just to crush my pride at her whim. But she's never done that in a roundabout way before. I wonder.

With her back facing me, it was impossible to catch her expression. This is bad. It's like practically paving my way into a trap. But the smell of food was dulling my senses, and I could only mumble a soft yes before grudgingly sitting down at the kitchen table. Really, I should have eaten more last night.

I looked over at her, trying to not let my mind wonder back to what she said. I suppose I do feel a little silly about it too. I never really did anything for her birthday either, so I can't complain about the reverse. If anything, I could have easily sent along a greeting together with Usagi's numerous presents, or maybe even a small gift. But hell, how can I know what to do when she kept silent with me all two years? How would I know if she cared, that I wasn't playing a one-way relationship here? What choice do I have when I don't even know what she wants from me? I wish she'd tell me these things.

I wish things between us can be kept simple, even if it's just stayed as over-the-top rivalry.

"Do you want syrup?"

Shaking my head, I took the plate from her hands and started eating without another thought. For a second my eye caught the pinkish nail polish and lingered on her hands. It rather suited her. That's right, just keep things simple. Stop thinking and act normal.

"Didn't know you could cook," I commented offhandedly in between mouthfuls. "It's good."

"I just started recently." Her smile held the slightest trace of pride. It's just pancakes, Minako. But it's like her to take the slightest compliments over her head.

She continued in her usual decisive manner. "I was thinking of letting Mako-chan teach me a little while she's here. It can come in handy."

For your boyfriend or whatever? "I see…" I trailed, failing to keep the conversation alive. I don't know why I'm even trying. I'm normally horrible at it.

"By the way," she suddenly turned completely towards me. "You must know how to cook too right, living by yourself for so long?"

I almost choked. "Me? Well, I'm not Makoto, but I know some basics."

"Right? I have no idea how I lived so long without knowing how to fry an egg. Normally I just have a cup of coffee in the morning and eat out for the rest, until my manager found out and forced a maid on me. Sometimes Artemis would prepare simple things for me too, but I never really see the point in learning to cook. It's just I feel guilty letting other people do it for me."

I stared at her in silence this whole time, and half of what she said I didn't even pay attention to. It wasn't like her to start talking about her life all of the sudden, so I didn't know how to respond.

"As long as you get the hang of it, cooking isn't that hard." I said without much thought.

"You think so? But I've been trying the recipes on these books, and the end results always turned out different. It's not like I can't follow instructions or anything," she mumbled in frustration.

I took another bite, watching her adjusting her apron then turning back to the stove after a moment of silence. I hope she isn't mad at me for not responding because I really didn't know what to say. First, cooking isn't even a hobby of mine. I only do it out of necessity, and I would have negative interest in it if it's possible. Instant food is usually my way to go, but there's no way I'd boast her ego even more by telling her. Heavens, if you want to start a conversation, at least pick something we're both interested in. Even I know that at least that much.

It looks like we're in the same boat here. I wish Usagi would wake up and save us. Hell, even Ami-chan might help.

I tried to think back to the other times. What did we talk about? I really can't think of a time when we talked about something besides senshi business. Was that all we were, comrades in battle? But if Usagi has the power to form a special bond with us, can't we do the same for each other?

Apparently not. Or at least, it's a long and hard journey ahead of us.

I looked at her backside, searching for a way to save her previous efforts, but my mind was blank. For a second I contended myself with just looking at her—her hair, figure, movements—without thinking at all. Call me lazy, but maybe it's best to let things happen naturally. I wouldn't want to push the limits too far when we just met up again. Besides, with what happened last night, it was awkward between us no matter how I look at it.

Right, I almost forgot about last night. How could I get over it so quickly? Or has it happened so many times that I learned how to deal with it? It certainly wasn't the first time she left me disappointed.

But it is the first time that she was trying to talk to me. Somehow I automatically reminded myself that, and it made me happy all of a sudden. For an instant the corner of my lips threatened to curl up, and I forced it down by taking a rather big bite, finishing what's left of the pancake in one shot.

Next to me, Minako sent me a concerned look, to which I smiled back awkwardly while forcing down the food. I was about to ask for some water, but to my surprise she already placed a glass in front of me, giving me another reproachful glance.

"T-thanks," I stumbled.

She waved it off and went back to the stove. I couldn't take it. This isn't like her at all, and it's making my heart beat faster every second. Make fun of me! Insult me! Please, anything but this, because I don't know what to do anymore.

She took a short glance behind her, catching my eyes in the process. We stayed like that in silence. In her eyes there was a sense of emptiness…I couldn't tell. But it was gone as soon as she narrowed them and went back to being the old Minako I knew.

With a frown, she folded her arms and shook her head. "Rei, you're acting too much like Usagi-chan. I'm starting to get worried about your head."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Don't let her hear that, or it'll be your head you should be worried about."

"Oh? You're not denying it?" she perked her eyebrows.

"It's natural to eat faster when I'm hungry. Thanks to the awful food you ordered, my stomach suffered all night."

"The food was just fine, thank you. And Michael was the one who ordered it."

"Hmph, then I suppose I'll thank your tastes in men with no taste buds," I said automatically.

She glared at me with a slightly surprised look, as if congratulating me that my comebacks are improving. Seriously, did she think I would stay in her shadow forever? Geez, such a princess.

"What? Don't tell me you sank so low in your verbal skills." I folded my arms and tried to put on her condescending air, which, of course, earned me more glaring. She opened her mouth, only to shut it a second later, her lips pressed tighter together in a thin line. I was a little pleased, to be able to tip her off this much. She's the type to rebuttal me with a simple click of the tongue, and she only looked this displeased when I figured out that the hypocrite hadn't even awoken her senshi powers. It was not a happy memory, but for me it was one of my prouder moments, one of those things I can mentally celebrate whenever she beats me to the ground. Verbally of course, though I'm sure she's capable of doing me some physical scarring if I really push it.

Whatever she was going to say, or rather her lack of comeback, was saved by the descending footsteps behind me. Turning, I barely caught her boyfriend dragging his feet into the kitchen. Lack of sleep was written clearly on his face, probably having to do with some major cleanup after a Usagi-style party, as he didn't even acknowledge our existence and reached straight for the fridge.

"He's not a morning person," Minako whispered in my ear as an apology. Not that she needed to offer one.

I nodded back, and, realizing that she has returned to making more pancakes, stood up and washed my dishes. I considered offering my help with cooking, but when she took a new plate and set some in front of that guy, I suddenly lose all of my goodwill. Not that I'm in anyway against him or anything, but…

"Thanks," he smiled and dug into his breakfast. "I thought I told you that I'll handle myself this morning."

I suppose I'll help when it's turn to cook for the sleepyheads.

"Of course, because I'll let you go on the plane with an empty stomach."

Simple exchanges, but within them is something I'm missing. The familiarity, understanding, and appreciation…I suppose our jabbing remarks are an indicator of familiarity, but somehow it feels inferior to their occasional glances at each other. Is that what they call lost in the lover's eyes? A bit cliché, if you ask me. Still, it had a very special feel to it.

I wanted to leave. No, I know I had to get out of their love-love scene before it makes me sick.

"Oh, Rei-chan, I didn't know you were an early riser as well." Having becoming more awake after some milk and food, he casually pointed out in thick-accented Japanese.

I stiffened at his friendly way of addressing me. The guy barely knows me, for goodness sake, and he's acting like we've been buddies for years!

"I'm sorry, that was too forward of me."

At least he realizes his mistakes quick.

"It's just that Minako tells me so much about her friends, especially you, so I feel like I've known you for years." He says so unabashedly and gave Minako a small smile, which was only returned half heartedly. She must know that he's taking the wrong approaches with me.

"Is that so? But morning chores a must for me, so I'm afraid I've grown used to it," I chose to not comment about his last statement.

"Oh right, Minako told me you have your own Shinto shrine in Tokyo? Working as a priestess must be tough on a young woman."

"I rather enjoy it. It's one of the few positions I think are suited for someone plain like me."

"Plain? You're too modest, Rei-san. If I remember correctly, you sang and did a few photo shoots, did you not?"

To be frank, he wasn't making himself any more likeable if he keeps on talking. Just go back to your pancakes.

"I hate being in the spotlight, and I only did them because I was compelled by certain circumstances," I shot a glare at Minako, and she conveniently turned away awkwardly. "But I'm glad Minako has told you so much about us. We certainly didn't get the privilege of knowing our host before we came here."

That sent him into silence. He turned to Minako as if questioning her. Suddenly I feel like I've said something wrong, but I could care less about it if it makes him stop talking.

"I'll be in the living room," I excused myself curtly and walked straight out of the kitchen.

God, that guy pisses me off. And he doesn't even know it!

I bet I've made myself a wonderful first-impression like always: the cold, aloof heretic. Not that I care what everyone else thinks of me, but considering that it's Minako's boyfriend, I might try to save her some dignity. But if you told someone about me, the first thing that should naturally come out should be to never, ever, act too friendly with me. It just strikes me the wrong way, and I immediately turn to the defensive. Even Usagi made that mistake, but in the end her overly-optimistic and happy air pushed through me. But this guy isn't even likeable. He lacks the certain charm and tact, not that Usagi ever had tact, but Ami-chan was there to make it up for her. That's why the two of them are scary together.

But his persistence is admirable, I'll admit. Something that resembles Usagi to an extent. Maybe it's Minako's soft spot? It's still stupid to fall for such a stupid guy just because of one positive attribute.

I fumed all the way into the living room, which is surprisingly decorated like a Japanese family room. I sat down on the zabuton and tuned out of the quiet conversation in the kitchen. It's not much, but I suppose this is the closest I can get to meditation. Since I was little, I had made it a rule to meditate every morning and afternoon, partially because the elders thought that a child couldn't possibly commit. I liked to prove the world wrong, and still do, to show my worth.

Maybe if someone had challenged me to never get on good terms with that guy, I might put in some effort.

"You got it all wrong! The subject just never came up!"

"Never came up? You know that's a lie as much as I do."

"But it's true! It's not like I hide it on purpose. If anyone wants to hide our relationship, it's you."

Their voices leaked out of the kitchen clearly, so much that I couldn't stop listening. Not that I tried. There was something appealing about those two fighting, so I listened on.

"_I_ only want to help us by not encouraging needless rumors around. I didn't hide anything from my family and friends."

"Needless rumors? You know there's one going around right now and you're not even helping me."

A rumor? About Minako? Why hasn't Usagi said anything? If it were something serious, she'd be the first one to know. And it sounds like Minako's really upset about it…

I tried to listen closer, but the conversation died down again. A bit frustrated by the disturbance and now the lack of, I returned to my meditation. But I kept an ear open in case I can catch more, so meditation is just a façade. Seriously, things never work in the way that I want them to.

A minute later the front door opened and closed. There was absolute silence in the house, and I thought that they had both left. Maybe they went outside so that they wouldn't disturb the guests? If that's the case, I have an urge to follow them. If the reporters are being asses to her again, I'll personally go teach them a lesson. And if her boyfriend is being an ignorant bastard, which considering him I'm sure he is or will be, he'll get what's coming too.

Suddenly I felt somebody beside me. Slowly opening a slit in my eye, I saw her sitting down, flipping through a magazine without much interest. She must have not wanted to disturb me, and I suppose that's considerate of her. But when she's this close to me, it's disturbing enough. I shivered in her presence. She seemed to not have noticed, so I used to chance to properly look at her. Her hair fell straight down her shoulders as usual, and with the way she leans forward, it half covers her thoughtful eyes. I've always found them strangely captivating—strongly demanding and resolute, layered with tints of sadness that she suppressed. Even when she smiles, it lingers of pain, and that's what makes her mysterious. That's what makes her beautiful.

God I sound like one of her stalker fans. But she does have this aspect about her that makes me want to admire her from far away. She is a mystery, and needs to remain one, because a solved mystery would not be as interesting: an angel to never be touched—such a feeling. Not that it had ever stopped me trying to understand her, though.

It's weird, but I think this is only the second time I've got a chance to observe her from this close. The first was that time we met in the church. She was too lost in her thoughts and I felt particularly brave that day to openly look at her. Perhaps it's because we just met and there was no reason to assume that we'd meet again, so I didn't hold back. If anyone else saw me they'd have pointed me out. Maybe she saw it too, but was too polite to comment. Of course, her politeness with me only lasted so long.

"Rei?"

I frowned, distracted. "Hmm?"

I saw a hand waving in front of my face. "What are you staring at?"

"Damn," I muttered under my breath and quickly turned away, suppressing a quickly spreading blush.

"I thought you were meditating."

"I was, and…sorry, I guess I was just thinking."

There was no way she believed me, but she accepted the excuse all the same.

"I wonder when the others are going to wake up." I thanked her for the change in subject. As boring as ever, but I suppose it'll do for now.

I shrugged. "Who knows? I bet they're going to sleep in like they're on holiday."

"I know Usagi-chan will be last," she let out a small giggle, probably imagining her friend's morning face.

I sighed in relief. Looks like her mood's a bit better now. Honestly, I have no idea how to cheer her up, so it's best if I don't have to try.

"Do you have work today?" I asked for the sake of asking.

"It doesn't usually start until noon, and I can always can in absent if I want to. Which reminds me, what are your plans?"

Plans? Now that I think of it…"We didn't really…plan. The whole trip was decided last minute, and we don't even have our return tickets. Ami-chan has work at the hospital, and Makoto has her shop to look after. And well, we all know Usagi can't live two days without her Mamoru, so they'll probably stay for about a week."

"And you?" she said simply. She's strangely…forward today. She must still be in a bad mood. She's only careless with her words when she's on a short temper.

Great, just what I was avoiding. How should I say it? I don't want to sound like I didn't come to London for her, because that'd be a lie, but in my head I have a perfect reason to stay for longer, hopefully, than the others.

"Rei?"

"With me, it's a coincidence, but," I paused, wondering if this is the best way to put it. "I've been trying to search for a sponsor for my shrine, and sources tell me that there are a lot of investors in Europe who are interested. I've never considered getting foreign support, but since I'm here, I thought I might check it out."

"I see." For a second she looked as if she were considering something. "That's nice, I guess."

I nodded. "It's convenient. I've actually gotten in touch with a sponsor and we've scheduled to meet today."

"Oh you've gotten in touch already?" She sounded disappointed. "So everything's arranged for you here?"

"No. I came here on short-notice, after all." I looked at her directly, trying to be reassuring. She flushed a bit and looked away. The idiot, does she really think I would prioritize something like that over her?

"So will you be staying long?"

"Maybe for two weeks or so. I really haven't made any solid plans yet."

She looked content with my answer, for some reason. I suppose she did miss me, after all.

"About this morning," she started. "Michael wants to apologize. He was running a bit late, so he told me to tell you."

I would rather if she told me about what happened in the kitchen, but I decided to go along with her. "He's going somewhere?"

"Yes. He left for Hollywood for a movie shoot and won't be back for four to five weeks, depending on how things go."

"Hollywood? Is he a director?"

"He's a special effects' director, so he mainly works with action movies."

"Ah."

"You don't like him, do you…"

I flinched at the change in topic. Can we please talk about something more pleasant, like the weather?

"It's not like that," I said defensively. "He's a nice guy, I'm sure. It's just, you know how I'm with men."

"You have something against them?"

I frowned. "Not exactly the way you put it, but yes, I do think it's better to not hang around them." She gave me a weird look. "Personal preferences," I shrugged.

She tapped her finger against her chin, unusually interested. "Is this intense hatred or strange fear?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm curious. You never told me these things." She looked at me accusingly. "So, which one is it?"

"Neither, really. I just think they're a big waste of time. All they care about is money, work, and money. Well, all the ones I've encountered, starting with my father."

She paused, her eyes wondered around the room in thought. "If you think so. But what about Mamoru-kun and Motoki? You think so low of them as well?"

"Like I said, it's my personal preference, and I won't push it onto everyone. Their relationships aren't my business, and I'm sure Usagi would kill me if I said one bad word about her beloved _prince_."

"What about Mamoru?"

I winced visibly when Usagi waltzed into the room. Quickly I glanced at Minako and she nodded back, and an agreement was reached.

"Ah, good morning Usagi," she greeted cheerfully.

"You sure are up early. It's an hour before the usual time."

"Rei-chan! I won't take comments from you this early."

"Why, too sleepy to make a comeback?"

"Nope. It's too early to get grumpy." She stuck her tongue out and proceeded to sit down on Minako's right. "So what about Mamoru?"

"Oh, I was just saying it's too bad he couldn't come as well," Minako covered smoothly.

Usagi gave me a suspicious look. "I'll believe it if Minako-chan says so."

I groaned. Our princess has certainly developed some brain cells these years, and about time too, even if it's becoming less convenient for me.

"So now I'm the big bad liar?"

"Geez Rei-chan always jumps to the worst conclusion." Saying so, she rolled her eyes with emphasis.

It feels rather strange that Usagi was challenging what she was told. If we go back couple of years she would have easily accepted everything without question. But weren't we all naïve back then? Destiny, duty, love, we had no idea what weight the words carried.

"If it's Rei-chan and Minako-chan, I don't think you'll ever talk about normal stuff like that." Usagi said something weird.

"So we only talk about the supernatural?" I put in drily.

"Not that, but you'll say dramatic things or nothing at all."

That's…how it is in a nutshell.

I blinked, trying to catch the sudden bomb dropped on me. It's true that I felt awkward all morning. Is it because we're forcing conversation where none existed, because we don't talk about everyday things? I can't imagine ever having a normal get-together or hang out with her just because. Was our connection so undefined that we can't even act like acquaintances?

"Not that's bad or anything!" Usagi waved her hands nervously. "It's just a special bond between you guys…"

It hurt. But the truth always hurts. I guess that's how it is.

Beside me, Minako had on an expressionless face. I doubt I can guess exactly what she's thinking, being Minako and all, but it must be somewhere along the same lines. What Usagi said, maybe she doesn't realize it, is like rejecting all the hopes I had to work things out naturally with her. You don't talk unless you have to, is basically what Usagi implied.

I couldn't shake off this feeling of disappointment, and anger. Not at Usagi, or Minako, or anyone. It's just a rebellion, a revolt against my capabilities, a particular strong desire to defy the expected. There's nothing I can't do, someone once told me, and I blindly believed in those words.

I like to and will challenge everything that's thrown at me. I can only hope this time too it'll be enough.

_To be continued…_

---

AN: This turned out a bit longer than expected. Let's just say I like to let my characters act to their will, so most of the time they drive the plot away from what I had planned. I hope it worked out well enough.

And I know I haven't got back to any reviews yet. I'll start addressing them in the next chapter.


	5. Sponsored

Chapter 5 -- Sponsored --

AN: Instead of weird comments, I thought I'd try doing something productive, ie. address reviews.

As some have pointed out, it seems like I've been slightly harsh to the poor characters. I hope it doesn't come off as though they hate each other, but I did craft around the assumption that they had lost touch and have yet to realize that what they feel for each other is anything close to romantic interest. They can't run into each other's arms happily ever after just yet. So, it looks like our heroines have a long way to go, again.

On a side note, a reviewer noted that in almost all ReiMina fics, Minako always has a lover, while poor Rei stands on the sidelines and growls. I think there's a justifiable reason to arrange things this way, because our Rei-chan is an introverted person and is very, very hard to please. Although I see the potential use of an admirer that makes Mina jump out of her socks and trigger a sudden realization of her feelings, the situation would be a sort-of-repeat of Rei's struggles, which might turn out slightly boring. But thanks for the thought. I'll keep it in mind.

And (lol) how did I know it'd be BoA's Eat U Up? Don't worry the link worked the first time.

----

"If you're looking for some general attractions, there's always Trafalgar Square, the Tower Bridge, Big Ben," Minako gently tapped her fingers as she suggested places to visit. "But I'm not sure historical sites are what you're looking for."

"Oh, what about that ceremony where the soldiers ride big horses and there's a band and…" As always, Usagi gestured wildly to emphasize what she meant by _big _horses.

"The Change of Guard?"

"Yeah! Mom saw it on TV and she said it looked really cool."

I left the kitchen table and decided to make more pancakes while they talked it out. Personally I have no interest in where we went, and I'm not a travel person to begin with. But that's not really the problem. I doubt I can put a little interest in anything right now, not after what happened this morning, and definitely not after what Usagi said. I stole a quick glance at Minako, wondering how she had gotten over it so fast, or maybe it's just on the surface. She is always good at hiding things.

But I'm not. I haven't been able to speak a word since then. It's…simply frustrating to think about it, but for obvious reasons I couldn't stop thinking about it. Exact what are we? Friends? Acquaintances? Maybe much less. Before coming here I was restless, anticipating, and I had a mindful of things to tell her. But now? Now when I get near her, I just lose it all. I hate to admit that we might just be downright incompatible, but what else could it be? Being with her—the awkwardness and stiffness—is so different from the comfortable atmosphere I fall into easily with the others. What is it that makes us different? Surely, neither of us is as outgoing and blunt as Usagi…

Usagi. The centerpiece, our connection. I'm sure all of us have been conscious of her role, but, how should I say it? The bonds between the five of us have always twisted and turned about her since the start. Compared to the center, the four corners seemed less connected. No, not to say that the bonds are necessarily weaker, but maybe it's that the points are not as vital? I'm not sure if I can put it any other way. It almost feels like I'm belittling our friendship.

But suppose in battle, we as senshi will sacrifice ourselves and the others, as unwilling as we are, because we all know protecting the princess is our ultimate goal.

Yes, I guess that is a good analogy. If one corner were to break off, the rest four will still function because we have our center. Isn't Minako the perfect example? If it had been Usagi who disappeared to America or somewhere, maybe we'd fall out of contact with each other. It's a cruel assumption, I know, and it might not be necessarily true. Well, I'd rather not believe it.

But we rarely have a chance to interact without Usagi, and that's our handicap. That's my handicap. She's became an agent that I rely on too much. Without her we'd never reconcile our differences and become friends in the first place.

Without her I'd never build up resolve to come to London.

"Mars Reiko-san?" Absently I hear someone calling.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said something smells burned."

I spun around and suddenly Minako was standing right behind me, her head poking forward by my shoulder. Out of reflex I slammed myself backwards into the stove.

"W-why are you standing there?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're obviously not paying enough attention, _Reiko_."

I wanted to hit at her for bringing up that ridiculous old joke, but I felt something heavy in my hands. Realizing that I've held the skillet over the stove for over five minutes, I cursed and quickly dumped the now burned pancake in the garbage.

"That's the second one so far. Are you sure you don't want to trade places?"

"I'm fine," I replied stubbornly. "It's only pancakes. And you haven't eaten anything yet since morning, so be good and go back to the table."

"And eat burned food? I'd rather not." She left no room for a response and proceeded to swiftly take the skillet from my hands.

Strangely, I didn't protest. My eyes were drawn to her hands the instant ours touch, how they gracefully grasped the handle, how naturally long her nails were. I'm oddly interested in little details today. Maybe it's the lack of sleep.

"Don't stand here all day. Go join the others," she ordered, tilting her head towards the table.

"A-are you sure? I can—" I looked up, suddenly becoming very conscious of how close we were standing. Our shoulders lightly passed each other, and if I wanted to I could easily touch…wait. Wait. What was I thinking? It's just an if, like, a comparison.

Yeah, it's nothing.

She gave me a stubborn look. "Yes, I'm sure."

"If you say so."

I sat down in between Makoto and Usagi, absently twirling an empty teacup back and forth between my hands. The conversation was making me sleepy more than anything, but I decided to at least look at them while they talked. I don't want to trouble them too much, especially not when they all look this excited.

"Usagi-chan, we shouldn't bother Minako-chan too much. Making her skip work for us is a little…"

Before I could take notice of it, my eyes left Ami and gradually focused on the person standing behind her. They traced the outline of her body and the imaginary smile tugging at her lips as she hummed a soft tune. I breathed out, slowly shaking my head. It looks like this little habit of mine is coming back, and I'm not particularly happy about it.

"I think we should let Minako go to work too. She's in the middle of filming a big drama series," Makoto dipped her voice, "With John Wright."

Usagi squealed. "Do you think we'll get to meet him? Oh oh, I get it!"

Their words slipped away, like every other time I pictured her in my mind. I had thought that it was only because I missed her, but perhaps I simply liked watching her, and when I could not my imagination filled the void. It happens when I'm meditating, or cleaning the courtyard, or even once or twice when I was with other people. Hell, it's been happening all too often that I might as well call it a disease. But with practice I also learned how to deal with it. Taking a deep breath, I moved my eyes down to the teacup and made a mental image of the design. See, that wasn't hard at all. Usagi is saying something again. I should listen. I will listen.

"Maybe it's better if we go with Minako-chan to work. Is that alright?"

"If you guys want, but filming isn't that interesting. I'm sure you'll be bored."

"Not with John Wright and everyone there! Is it settled then? Oh, Rei-chan, what do you want to do? You haven't said a word yet. Rei-chan?"

No matter what other people might say, I'm not obsessed with her.

"Rei-chan!"

"Yes, what is it?" I looked straight at Usagi with all the innocence I could master.

"Were you listening?"

"Yeah, of course." I coughed. "I was just thinking, I don't think I can go to the studio today. I've already scheduled a meeting with someone to talk about sponsoring the shrine."

"Rei-chan's doing work the first day of a holiday? You're worse than Minako-chan!" Usagi said with wide eyes.

"Don't compare me with that workaholic," I retorted. "You know I'm not nearly as bad."

Four pair of eyes locked on me. Silence.

Minako smirked in her usual victorious air. "See? Four against one. You're just in denial."

"I am not in denial!" I snapped, wondering why the word made me feel so upset. "Anyways, I don't think the meeting should take long, so I'll drop by the studio later."

But she caught on the change quickly, and curved her lips devilishly. "Just to see me? I'm honored that you'll leave some room in your _busy_ schedule for me."

Damn her and her sharp tongue. "Whatever."

Despite defeat, I had to smile just a little bit. Her little word games were…fun. Yes, I should treasure this feeling for now, serious talks can come later. Things are far from worked out between us, and I'm still mad. But if things progress like this, I suppose it might work out all right.

"At any rate, say whatever you want, but I'm leaving. I'll call when I'm finished."

For now, I should try to repair the bond that was manipulated in weird ways and catch up on the lack of communication for four years. And don't think I forgot about those million phone calls, Minako. You still owe me a big explanation.

Thinking that I've caught her little secret always put me in a good mood.

-----

The taxi ride to my destination was calm, the right way to start a morning. I leaned back on the office sofa and contended with the sceneries of London's central district through the glass walls I was surrounded with. Minako must be upset that I rejected a personal driver (namely, her) and a high-class Mercedes in favor for some old, unfashionable cab. But I'm really not in the mood to play word games anymore, which is what we're going to end up doing in the end. It's a bit sad to think that only sneering comments can be considered a safe zone for us.

Not that there's anything wrong with them, but I'd like it if we can talk like ordinary people. Civilly.

And that's basically impossible between us right now, because we're too stubborn to not to fight. If the situation comes one of us would seize it without much of a second thought. But it's not like we have too much choice here, seeing as talking about anything slightly normal is bounded to lead to awkward situations and revert us back to bickering. Really, it's a hopeless situation.

If only one of us weren't so…stubborn? Egotistical? Selfish? Impossible?

Impossible.

The door shut with a soft click and I realized that it was already quarter past ten. Sighing, I gathered myself and turned towards my potential sponsor.

"William-san," I began cautiously in Japanese. Takami-sensei had said that he knew my language, but I still felt the need to be careful with my choice of vocabulary. "It's a pleasure—"

"You must be Hino-sensei." The man, somewhere in his fifties, was apparently in no mood for pleasantries. Looking me over quite excitedly, he closed our distance in four giant strides and shook my hand with feverish speed. "I've heard lots of promising things about you."

"Y-yes?"

"The reason that I brought you here," he continued without paying my discomfort the slightest attention, "Is to propose a contract. I'm informed that you are in need of some funding, and I'm more than happy to provide it, _if_ the conditions are met."

I jerked my hand free of his grasp. "Contract?"

"Do you remember a man by the name of Saitou Sugao-san?"

"Is it the English way to answer a question with another?"

He looked at me with increasing interest, as if he had found a target, a prey. I found it rather disturbing.

"Hino-sensei, you sure have your way with words." He looked impressed. "Well, if it's you, I can have a bit more hope of the situation."

"If I may say, William-san, your words are somewhat unsettling."

"You think so? I'd rather say you're being impatient."

"If it's the right for a guest to know the intentions of the host, I think I have being quite patient with your roundabout ways."

He laughed lightly. "Well you're right. That was rude of me." He gestured to the couches, and I made sure to put as much physical distance between us as possible. After taking time to smooth out his grey suit, which I found completely unnecessary, he began again. "Let us start from the beginning, before we got slightly…distracted. You already know my name. Let's see, this building that you're sitting in is owned by ASM Music."

"Minako's label?" I hadn't realized that I spoke out loud, but he showed no surprise.

"Yes, exactly. I think you ought to know that I tried to reach you through Takami-sama, an old acquaintance of a friend of mine. And the way I found out about you is through Saitou Sugao-san."

"Her old manager," I stated flatly. Something wasn't right. "This whole situation has to do with Minako?"

"Yes. It's unfortunate that we had to…resort to this."

I frowned. Something was definitely, definitely not right.

"I'm sure you have heard about this _rumor_ that's flying around?"

I swallowed, a lump suddenly knotted in my throat. "I've heard her mentioning it once."

He nodded, before flipping through his files and pulling out a thin folder. I took it hesitantly. There was an uneasy feeling that I couldn't put away.

"Take a look," he urged.

But all I found were blurry pictures of Minako walking out of what appeared to be a night club. Confused, I flipped through them again more carefully, but nothing was even close to scandalous.

"That club…" A pause. "Happens to be one of the most famous lesbian clubs in London."

…

Lesbian…?

That's impossible. I mean, it can't be, right? Minako…she can't…there's no way…

"The photos are as real as they come." Williams put the folder away with a slight shook of his head, looking back at me. "We've confirmed these pictures with Minako, and at the time she claimed that she did go there once, but only because she was drunk and got pulled in there by somebody from another place. Once she recovered she tried to slip out, but by that time she was recognized."

I stayed silent, my eyes fixed on the photos.

"Well that's how it started," he sighed, but kept a professional voice. "At first we thought that it wouldn't be a problem if it stopped there. Minako also issued a public announcement claiming that she was unaware that she had been led to that club. The rumor seemed to die down for about two month, but about a week ago someone started posting more outrageous pictures on the internet and claimed that there are double meanings to a lot of her songs, that she's actually singing about other women. And then before we could do anything it was all over the news."

He must have expected me to say something, but all I managed was to stare at him blankly. My mind froze a long time ago. What am I to think, that she really like women that way? Somehow my heart flustered every time I thought of that word, and I was having a hard time calming down. I just…couldn't see her like that. Hell, I'm having a hard enough time dealing with her boyfriend, let alone something like this.

"Why are you telling me these things?" I asked after a moment of hesitation.

"I want you to fix it."

What? I did a double-take. The man can't be serious.

"What do you expect me—"

"I expect very little, if nothing at all," he said dismissively. "Well, what you do is up to you. I just thought it would be in everyone's best interest if you knew about it."

I frowned, half-convinced.

"I know, you must be thinking that I'm crazy. Truthfully, almost everyone thinks so too, but I trust you. You see, I've heard of your stories from Saitou-san. I don't quite understand how things work between you two, but something tells me if anyone were to crack open Minako's stubborn shell, it'd be you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I denied instantly with a slight blush.

"You don't?" he chuckled at my displeasure. "Well, it's not very important. The important part is our contract—if you help settle this matter, I will provide what I've promised. What do you say?" He followed with a wink.

Sponsoring the shrine and my college tuition...but that didn't matter to me in the least.

"I don't care about those," I said simply. "But I'll do what I can."

"Excellent."

He stood up looking confident, and shook my hand firmly again. I felt a little taken aback by his attitude, like he's just drawn the winning ticket for the lottery before the numbers were announced.

When I left his office, the weight of everything finally hit me. Needless to say, I was beyond overwhelmed.

First, I really have no idea of where to start. He asked me to "fix it," but what? What's there to even fix? If she really is…that, I can only respect her choice. Or is it a choice? Whatever, but the fact is there's nothing I can do to change her. In any case, no forget it. If he can't accept something like this, he's the one who needs to be fixed.

But wait, she's dating a guy, so that can't be right. Then she was framed, happened to be dragged to the wrong place at the wrong time? I can see someone hiring the paparazzi and setting her up like some sort of twisted joke. I'm sure over the years one way or another she's made her share of enemies in the business. No, no, that can't be right either. She's the last person who'd let something this small push her around like some idiot.

My thoughts were a mess.

This is not like her at all. She had survived in her business for far too long to not know how to deal with tabloid gossip. And she's not that weak either. If anything, I would expect her to have either dealt with the framer or the media by now. So why not? What's complicating the situation?

_You know there's one going around right now and you're not even helping me_.

Right, that's what's she said this morning. To that guy. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you…

Why didn't you ask me instead of him?

You said I was the only one who could support you, right? If you felt lost or frustrated, I was supposed to get through that thick ego of yours. Is there someone else now? I thought that was the one thing that wouldn't change between us…Is there even anything between us now?

I don't know what to think anymore. Maybe…maybe I should just let him take care of things. After all, she asked him, not me. She's got a boyfriend after all, who am I to compare? Who am I?

For the first time in years I had to bite my lips so that I wouldn't…funny, I don't think I've ever felt this pain. After all the fighting and death, I'd thought I knew everything. But this, I couldn't find a word to describe it. All I knew was that I wanted to go home, to somewhere private and gather myself. But only after I had hurled down a taxi did I realize that I didn't know her address. Asking her or anyone else would obviously bring unnecessary problems. I had said I would go to the studio afterwards.

Looks like there's not much choice. I would have to gather myself in the taxi.

"Hello, Minako? Sorry to bother you, but I just remembered, I don't know the address of the studio." I regretted calling her almost immediately. My voice could barely be called stable, and I only prayed that she wouldn't take notice.

"Oh, oh right. Do you have a pen?"

"No, hold on, I'm giving the phone to the taxi driver. He's been yelling nonsensical things to me for the last minute."

There was a small giggle. "It's called English, Rei."

"Is it? Maybe you should teach me some later. It would be very useful. But before that, you're going to have to talk to the impatient guy."

"Alright, give him the phone."

I thrust the phone past the driver's shoulder, which he took gladly. With the phone in one hand and steering wheel in the other, he began to maneuver through the narrow streets.

"You know he was complaining about you," Minako said once I got the phone back. "But I'm surprised, is your English really that bad?"

"Not if I'm being compared to Usagi." I knew I was trying too hard to force out jokes to distract my nerves, but strangely it was working. She giggled again. Maybe it was what we both needed right now. "Anyways, sorry that I had to call all of the sudden. I know you're working and all…"

"Don't worry, you caught me on break. Did the meeting go well?"

"Ah, huh? The meeting? Oh it was…yes, it went well."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, it's not like that. I just…I heard…never mind, it's nothing." I took a deep breath. This wasn't working. I have to ask, to make sure. "Listen, can we talk about um…things, later? I just…it's nothing really important, but I want to talk…privately…if you don't mind?" I waited for a response. "I'm sorry if that sounded weird or—"

"No, no, it's alright. I know what you mean," she sighed, as if in defeat. "A lot changed lately. We changed a lot, too. I was always afraid that this would happen, but I didn't think enough back then."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." I don't even know what I was apologizing for.

"It's fine!" she cut in stubbornly. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, all mine. I shouldn't have done a lot of things, and I thought I could pull through on my own. I was stupid."

"Minako," I trailed, not knowing what to say. "I-is everything alright?"

I could feel her crumbling resolve, struggling to be strong, but all she managed to produce was a shaky laugh. "No, not really."

Her voice just now…

"I have to go get ready. I'll see you later. And sorry about before. I'll explain later. Something happened and I…I have to go. See you soon?"

"Yeah, good luck with work." What else was there to say?

And she rang off, like that.

The taxi driver pulled over to the curb, probably telling me to get off and pay the fares. But all I could hear was her weak admission.

_No, not really._

_To be continued…_


End file.
